Ari Gold Quotes
As a big fan of the HBO Entourage series, I soon discovered I was looking forward more to seeing Ari again than any of the other guys (although Johnny Drama is a good runner up). Jeremy Piven kills it and with his sharp tongue produced some of the best quotes I ever heard, and I decided to type ‘em up and let everyone (re)enjoy. season 1, season 2 and season 4 are now complete, and just finalizing season 3! Then off course, it’s time to await season 5.

Click here for all Ari’s quotes, or use the menu on the right to browse or search for quotes. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!

Top rated quotes
  • Ari: I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun, tell her that I'm gonna start a website. I will take a full page ad out in the L.A. Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com and that no password or fee will be required. Tell her I Want A Fucking Call Back! Average: 4.93 out of 5Average: 4.93 out of 5Average: 4.93 out of 5Average: 4.93 out of 5Average: 4.93 out of 5 (vote)

  • Mrs. Ari (doesn't want Ari to pick up his phone during couples therapy): I ask for one hour of a day for his undevided attention, and I can't even have that. Ari: You could have it if you want to live in Augorra fucking Hills, and go to group therapy. But if you want a Beverly Hills mansion and you want a country club membership, and you want 9 weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, than I'm gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking wednesday. Average: 4.92 out of 5Average: 4.92 out of 5Average: 4.92 out of 5Average: 4.92 out of 5Average: 4.92 out of 5 (vote)

  • Ari: People, staff meeting has been cancelled. You all have one goal today: to get Vincent Chase's brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job! I don't care if it's a porn shoot in which he is being gang raped by a gaggle of silverback apes, if there are cameras rolling, everybody wins. 10 grant for anyone that can deliver this to me, today. Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5 (vote)

  • (Ari, Mrs. Gold and Sarah Gold are going to Temple for Yom Kippur) Sarah: I hate this, I'm starving. Ari: Now you know what mommy goes trough every day to make a hot body for daddy. Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5Average: 4.9 out of 5 (vote)

  • E (answering an early phone call): Why, Ari?? Why? Ari: I'm in bed E, talk dirty to me. E: It's 5 o'clock in the morning. Ari: What are you wearing? E: Fuck you! Ari: I love when you say fuck, say it again. Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5 (vote)

  • Ari: Why the fuck did you just tell him that I had a more important lunch? You think that's gonna put a smile on his face? Lloyd: What did you want me to say? Ari: That I have a huge wart on my cock that needs removal would've been better! Wake the fuck up Lloyd! Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5Average: 4.89 out of 5 (vote)

  • (Ari's trying to sneak out the door) Mrs. Ari: Where are you going Ari? Ari: I-i have a meeting... Mrs. Ari: At the Playboy Mansion?? Ari: You know, Playboy Mansion, strip clubs, whore houses, I go where the meetings are. It's my fucking job. Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5 (vote)

  • Ari (answering the phone): What? E: Looks like I woke you up this time huh Ari? Ari: No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something, is he? E: No.. Ari: Than what the fuck do you want, cunt muscle? Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5Average: 4.88 out of 5 (vote)

  • Ari: Is that the way they drive in Tiananmen Square, bitch? Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5 (vote)

  • You know what other class I took at Harvard? Business ethics. I don't steal other people's motherfucking clients. But in YOUR case, I am going to make an exception! I'm going to take everyone! Your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers. When I'm done with you you'll be repping sideshow freaks. You need jojo the dog faced bitch boy, call Josh Winefuck. The lightweight penstealing fuckface. Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5Average: 4.87 out of 5 (vote)