Ari Gold Quotes

Lloyd: How? You are my inspiration, Ari. I’m still learning to be more like you.
Ari: No, you’re not like me and you don’t want to be. You’re fair and honest and you don’t like women.

Lloyd: I’m family too, aren’t I?
Ari: You’ll always be the gay son I never wanted – yes Lloyd.

Ari: I don’t want to bring your energy down so go and tell my people what it’s like to control 350 pound men who are usually carrying firearms. Motivate my losers!

Ari: Vince Chase wants this for his brother Johnny. Now we all know that Johnny Chase may have limited talent. But, like a child with special needs, a real family member will stand by his side. A real family member will buy that child’s way into Harvard if that’s what it takes. Vince Chase is standing by his brother, and I’m standing by both of them.

Ari: Yo, grill master. Are you in my house? I’ve got a new show for you. It’s called ‘Boy Meets Husband Who Kills Him!’
Mrs. Ari: Ari!
Bobby: I’m not hiding, Ari.
Ari: Well you should.

(Ari asks Babs for 11 million dollars to repay his wife)
Barbara: Cash flow is not ideal right now.
Ari: Then float me, you probably have enough in your Depends.

Ari: She gets to hang with the wolf man. Provided he keeps his shirt on. He has four percent body fat, daddy has five. Tell mommy, Daddy’s been working out.

Ari: I guess the bro code’s out the window when you’re fucking someone’s wife.

Ari (screaming at Mrs. Ari who’s leaving the couples therapy session): So you’re just gonna walk out on me!? (To therapist): Bill this one to her.

Mrs. Ari: I was never put first.
Ari: So Bobby Flay, who has as many house wives as he has chili peppers puts you first?