It’s Your Turn Now, Lloyd

2 Dec

Lloyd: How? You are my inspiration, Ari. I’m still learning to be more like you.
Ari: No, you’re not like me and you don’t want to be. You’re fair and honest and you don’t like women.

Ari’s Gay Son

2 Dec

Lloyd: I’m family too, aren’t I?
Ari: You’ll always be the gay son I never wanted – yes Lloyd.

Motivate the Losers!

2 Dec

Ari: I don’t want to bring your energy down so go and tell my people what it’s like to control 350 pound men who are usually carrying firearms. Motivate my losers!

Special Johnny

2 Dec

Ari: Vince Chase wants this for his brother Johnny. Now we all know that Johnny Chase may have limited talent. But, like a child with special needs, a real family member will stand by his side. A real family member will buy that child’s way into Harvard if that’s what it takes. Vince Chase is standing by his brother, and I’m standing by both of them.

Grill master

2 Dec

Ari: Yo, grill master. Are you in my house? I’ve got a new show for you. It’s called ‘Boy Meets Husband Who Kills Him!’
Mrs. Ari: Ari!
Bobby: I’m not hiding, Ari.
Ari: Well you should.

Depends

2 Dec

(Ari asks Babs for 11 million dollars to repay his wife)
Barbara: Cash flow is not ideal right now.
Ari: Then float me, you probably have enough in your Depends.

Gold vs Wolf

2 Dec

Ari: She gets to hang with the wolf man. Provided he keeps his shirt on. He has four percent body fat, daddy has five. Tell mommy, Daddy’s been working out.

Bro Code

2 Dec

Ari: I guess the bro code’s out the window when you’re fucking someone’s wife.

Therapy

2 Dec

Ari (screaming at Mrs. Ari who’s leaving the couples therapy session): So you’re just gonna walk out on me!? (To therapist): Bill this one to her.

Peppers

2 Dec

Mrs. Ari: I was never put first.
Ari: So Bobby Flay, who has as many house wives as he has chili peppers puts you first?