Ari Gold Quotes

Ari (to Amanda): You’re sorry? You’re sorry for what? You’re sorry for leaking slanderous out of context nonsense about me huh? And then rifling through all my hard work to steal my football team? Fuck you, ok? Fuck you. And now hold on a second. I’d never hit a woman in my entire life but I swear to God in my mind right now I am pummeling your smug face to a pulp for everything you did to me, my career and my family. But not to worry all right. Because I will prevail, because I’m a winner and you’re a whore with more cleavage than talent. And I will not stop untill I destroy you.

(Amanda keeps calling)
Ari: I don’t want to speak to her.
Jake: Should I tell her that?
Ari: Tell her I want her to die!

Richard Branson (walks in on Ari’s family night with two hot blondes): I’m in family mode too, so…
Ari: Yes. Well played sir. I love your family.
Mrs. Ari: ARI!
Ari: Honey, he has twins. How rare is that?

Ari: Jonah, next time boy’s night out. These girls are annoying.

Ari (on family night): I’m here, I’m present, I’m suffering. No phone, Blackberries or carrier pigeons.

Therepist: I’m sorry, we’ll have to stop soon. Ari, can you respond to this request?
Ari: No, who could.. and fuck you with your fucking clock!

Therapist: It’s nice to see that you find your voice.
Ari: When did she not had her voice?

Ari: Listen sweetheart. You wanna call and butter me up with sympathy and then drop this on me because you think that I’m down and will take anything – let me explain this to you in a metaphor you will understand. I am sure there are guys who have fingered you in the ass long enough that eventually you let them fuck it. And now you think you got me bent over with your finger in my ass thinking I will let you do the same. I am not like you Dana. You will not FUCK ME IN THE ASS, VINCE WILL NOT PISS IN A CUP FOR YOU, OR ANYONE ELSE.

Ari: Why don’t we start the day off with some hugs and kisses? Everyone except for you and me Lloyd, that ain’t happening.

Ari: If you don’t wanna talk and you don’t wanna have sex, what else is there to do in [the bedroom].
Mrs. Ari: You wanna talk?
Ari: I’d rather have sex…