Ari Gold Quotes

Lloyd: But Ari, we haven’t even really talked!
Ari: I talked, and my hope is that you listened.

Lloyd: You’re drinking in the middle of the day?
Ari: Yeah well, they do it on Mad Men all the time and they’re pretty succesful!

Shauna: Nice of you to show Ari.
Ari: Nice of you to lose the baby weight. What do you have like nine kids now?
Shauna: Three asshole.
Ari: Really, did you figure out who the fathers are?
Shauna: Don’t take it out on me you don’t have an excuse for those extra pounds…
Ari: Eh, I’m still at 6% body fat, OK?
Shauna: Yeah, and still 94% full of shit.

Ari: 100 days. You do everything that I say, or you don’t.
Lloyd: Fine…
Ari: First thing I’m saying, you drop 15 pounds.
Lloyd: You want me to drop 15 pounds…
Ari: I’m asking that for Tom, what I want will be much harder. Now go.
(Ari returns to his house)
Lloyd: I’m gonna make it through this Ari Gold!
Ari: It will be worse then when you had your anal cherry popped, but hey, you just might.

(E calls Ari about Vince doing the lead in Gus van Sant’s new movie)
Ari: Gus doesn’t think he’s right for it.
E: How do you know?
Ari: Because unlike you, my workday starts before reading page 6.

Ari (walks into Johnny Drama’s): This what you call a New York vacation? Where’s the glamour, where’s the bitchesss..?
[Vince introduces Ari to his girlfriend]
Ari: I’m sorry, I was talking about these bitches, not you.

Vince (got offered a lead in a Martin Scorsese movie): Thank you Ari, thank you.
Ari: You know what? Don’t thank me, thank E. For once in his life the little McNugget delivered. Where is the little freak anyway?

(Vince and E reconcile)
Ari (was waiting in the closet): Thank god! This scene was getting way too gay for my taste!

Ari: It’s all gonna be fine.
E: How?
Ari: Because the Jew has arrived and he doesn’t like Germans!

Ari: My client has performed as fine as in every movie he’s ever done, including a blockbuster for an Oscar winning AMERICAN director.
Werner: Well this is a film about human beings with layers. It’s not about some swimming super hero.
Ari: Well I don’t care if it’s a movie about a dancing cucumber.