Ari Gold Quotes

Werner: Are you threatening me?
Ari: If you consider me telling you that you will be lucky to get a Der Wienerschnitzel commercial in this country if you don’t go back to work, then yeah, it’s a fucking threat.

Werner: This conversation is over.
Ari: Nothing is over. When I’m done with you it will make the battle of Normandy look like game of fucking paintball.

Ari: Dana, how’s my favorite studio head who I made?
Dana: Ha ha, great. You know two days in our theme park in Sydney is quite a stress reliever.
Ari: Well imagine three children has got tossed off the rollercoaster and then some.

Dana: I will be on the ground in L.A. in 90 minutes.
Ari: In 90 minutes you could be back blowing hack writers just to get on the [??] to get a cup of coffee. Dana. You know, WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Vince: What’d he say?
Ari: Nothing worth interpreting.

Ari: Half the town is out of a job and you can’t find me one available director?
Lloyd: Kevin Smith isn’t doing anything..
Ari: Are you looking at the DGA list or are you staring out the window at the line of the Sprinkles fucking cupcake store?

Ari: Dana Gordon owes me.
E: So what, you really think she’ll let you replace the director?
Ari: After what I did for her, she would let us double penetrate her if I asked her!

(Vince and E are in the room with Dana, Werner and Ari)
Werner: I do not understand why they are here…
Ari: Because it’s a free country and not Germany circa 1939.

Dana (screaming to Werner): Get your ass back here. I hired you and you have movie to finish for which your getting a lot of money to do, and that is exactly what is going to fucking happen. Do You Understand me?
Ari: I do! … Anyone else turned on right now?

Ari: Jezus Christ, is it too much to ask for a god damn egg in the house?
Sarah: Hah, what’s your problem?
Ari: What’s your problem?
Sarah: Be more immature…
Ari: Listen, if a man can’t have breakfast cooked for him, is it too much to expect a trip to the store so he can could it for himself?
Sarah: Mom cooks us breakfast every morning, you’re always at work.
Ari: Let me get this straight, all women defend each other blindly?