Ari Gold Quotes

Ari: The guest bed is not designed for an athletically built man.

Ari: I love you Dana, and if I’d ever cheat on my wife it will be you I’m fucking.

Ari: I don’t make the rules. Not all of them anyways.

Ari: I think that you know what I think about your thoughts, Babs.

Deadline Hollywood: You’d better give me something.
Ari: Howard Stern is gonna be the new host of Jeopardy. You didn’t hear it from me.

Ari: I’ll give [Deadline Hollywood] a scoop.
Babs: Oh, you got one?
Ari: Yeah, I’m gonna tell her that you blew Mickey Rooney and gargled with it. She’ll love it.

Ari: Deadline Hollywood would run a story about me having a loose stool much less having recorded tapes of me.

Ari: What are you laughing about?
Employee: Nothing.
Ari: Then don’t.

Ari: I don’t wanna talk to anybody, was I not clear? Nobody. I don’t care if Justin Bieber calls and wants me to negotiate the rights to his virginity, I don’t wanna talk to him. NOBODY.

Ari: Jesus Billy you’re back and apparently working at the Gap.