Ari Gold Quotes

Ari (got offered Alan’s job): How would you like to be fucking a studio head baby?

Ari: What do you want?
Dana: I wanna be under you.
Ari: Dana, I told you my wife is in the car.

Lloyd: How was the funeral Ari?
Ari: It was delightful, you kidding, Alan has not looked this good in years.

Babs: Arrriii…
Ari: Babs, what’s the haps?

Babs: [The writers] wanna branch out.
Ari: Haha, to what, the circus?
Babs: Features.
Ari: Oh come on, I met those freaks. If it wasn’t for losers eating bull cock tempura they’d be lucky to produce a decent infomercial.
Babs: They’re coming after lunch, you have minute to say hello?
Ari (to Lloyd): Tell her I’m busy.
Lloyd: He’s got a lot on his plate..

Lloyd: Are you hiding something from me Ari?
Ari: Only my cock and my asshole Lloyd..

E: Woow, golf on a wednesday huh Ari? In the next life I wanna come back as you.
Ari: Wish I can return the compliment E, but I’d rather come back as on of Michael Vic’s dogs.

E: Ah, I’m feeling real confident now Ari…
Ari: Your physical appearance has left you no reason to ever feel confident.

E: Good luck Ari!
Ari: Suck it, E.

Bob: I figured I’d just come and whack a few balls before I come home..
Ari: At your age, the fact that you can whack anything is a miracle.