Ari Gold Quotes

Ari (learns that Haggis needs the full 90 days to shoot Medillon): Noah can build an arc and save all of God’s creatures in 40 days, he can’t shoot a movie in 65?

(Mrs. Ari is moved by Ari’s caring about Sarah)
Ari: How about a quick blowjob before my Vince dinner?

Ari: Why the fuck did you just tell him that I had a more important lunch? You think that’s gonna put a smile on his face?
Lloyd: What did you want me to say?
Ari: That I have a huge wart on my cock that needs removal would’ve been better! Wake the fuck up Lloyd!

Ari: 23 minutes to the Valley. I’m like Chuck Yeager!

Alen: So, let me guess. This Ramones project has caused some discomfort between you and your biggest client.
Ari: Hamroids cause discomfort, Alen. This is more like open heart surgery.

Ari: Speak or I will intern you like it’s 1942.
Lloyd: I’m not Japanese, Ari.
Ari: SPEAK!

Dana (running towards Ari): Ari!
Ari: Ah, it’s Hitler’s evil twin!
Dana: I need to talk to you.
Ari: You know Dana, the only time I enjoyed talking to you was when you’re mouth was full.

Ari (to some competitor’s assistant – pretending he is E): Hey bro, listen, I hate to cancel on such short notice but ahh Vince isn’t gonna be able to make lunch. Sorry bro.
Assistant: Oh my god, hold on, let me get Andy.
Ari: Ah you know, you don’t need to do that. Just tell him he’s a great big fag. All right. See ya!

(Lloyd informs Ari about Vince’s meeting with Josh)
Ari: Josh Weinstein? Josh fucking Weinstein? I’d rather have Vince fuck my wife.

Ari (promises his car to old Bob): I lease it, but I will continue to make the payments untill it expires, unless you expire first.