Ari Gold Quotes

Ari: 23 minutes to the Valley. I’m like Chuck Yeager!

Alen: So, let me guess. This Ramones project has caused some discomfort between you and your biggest client.
Ari: Hamroids cause discomfort, Alen. This is more like open heart surgery.

Ari: Speak or I will intern you like it’s 1942.
Lloyd: I’m not Japanese, Ari.
Ari: SPEAK!

Dana (running towards Ari): Ari!
Ari: Ah, it’s Hitler’s evil twin!
Dana: I need to talk to you.
Ari: You know Dana, the only time I enjoyed talking to you was when you’re mouth was full.

Ari (to some competitor’s assistant – pretending he is E): Hey bro, listen, I hate to cancel on such short notice but ahh Vince isn’t gonna be able to make lunch. Sorry bro.
Assistant: Oh my god, hold on, let me get Andy.
Ari: Ah you know, you don’t need to do that. Just tell him he’s a great big fag. All right. See ya!

(Lloyd informs Ari about Vince’s meeting with Josh)
Ari: Josh Weinstein? Josh fucking Weinstein? I’d rather have Vince fuck my wife.

Ari (promises his car to old Bob): I lease it, but I will continue to make the payments untill it expires, unless you expire first.

Ari (taking Vince’s ‘Sorry, Ari’ phone call): How is it to take it in the ass anyway Lloyd?
Lloyd: I don’t know Ari, I’m a top.
Ari: Come on, really?

Ari: You’re right Lloyd. Look at this. 75.000 square feet, all build on my “giving a fuck”.

Ari (answering the phone): What?
E: Looks like I woke you up this time huh Ari?
Ari: No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something, is he?
E: No..
Ari: Than what the fuck do you want, cunt muscle?