Ari Gold Quotes

(Barbara Miller calls)
Ari: Hey Babs, what are you wearing!?
Barbara: We need to have lunch, Ari. The word is out and it’s spreading.
Ari: Oh, you mean that shit about you getting lipoed? Don’t worry about that, you know, from what I hear Dr. Desser is like a fucking Picasso with that knife.

(Barbara tricked Ari into a meeting with Terrence)
Ari: I always knew you liked dick Barbara, I just didn’t know you were a cocksucker.
(to Terrence): It’s like a meeting of the five families. Maybe I should had a gun taped up at the bathroom stall.

Ari: You’re not my mother, Babs.
Barbara: Fuck you, Ari!
Ari: See, my mother would never speak to me that way!

Ari: Fuck the phones Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency tittie fuck, DON’T ANSWER!

Ari (to his agents): None of you will be getting paid for about six months. (..) People, come on! First year at Google, they paid their staff with paperclips, now the guy that scrubbed the toilets, has got a billion 5. Who’s with me?

Ari: Hey Babs, the Traitorous Skanks Anonymous meeting’s next door.

Ari: So what do you want?
Barbara: I wanna fuck. (..) Kidding. I want 60% in (??)
Ari: I’d rather fuck.

E: I’m impressed Ari, a totally selfless meal.
Ari: Yeah, well, you’re paying, ’cause you’ve got the job.

Ari: Vince is the only client I’ve ever had that I considered a friend, all right? The only one I really cared about. I mean, Jessica Biel too, but I cared about her (opening his chop sticks) for very different reasons.

Lloyd: Where to?
Ari: Malibu. Pronto Tonto!