Ari Gold Quotes

Ari: Say goodbye to that Masarati, E. I see a shiny new Vespa in your future. (walking towards Lloyd’s stunt car)
E: Yeah, good luck in the Indie 500.
Lloyd: Morning, E!
E: Morning Lloyd.
Ari: Don’t say good morning to him!

Ari: You even know how fucked you are? I mean, you are so fucking fucked. I mean, I think you are the most fucked person I know. (hears the bleeping sound of a car). Shit, here comes the wife. Just pretend like it’s all good.
E: You didn’t tell your wife?
Ari: No. When the time’s right, yeah.
E: When the time is right, It’s on the cover of Variety!
Ari: She doesn’t read Variety, she reads InStyle.

Ari: What, you wanna quit too?
E: Actually, I think I might, yeah.
Ari: E! The garbage man who wins the lottery does not throw out the ticket!

Lloyd (trough the intercom): It’s Lloyd, looking for Mr. Gold’s car.
Ernesto: Sorry Lloyd, it’s a company car. Mr. McQuewick said I can’t give it to him.
Ari (furious): Can’t give it to me? Ernesto! How many fucking pesos did I give you for Christmas? Huh Ernesto? Every Christmas for the past decade! Half of Mexico is eating on my chip that I’ve given you. Now bring my motherfucking car now! Por Favor!
Ernesto: Sorry, Mr. Gold. Oh, and Mr. Gold? I’m from Guatemala and our currency is the Quetzal.

Ari: When I go, in no time, you will be repping nobodies, like Bill from the Apprentice. No one needs to make a decision right now. I will be starting my own agency. Two very important goals will apply. To make everyone, who is one, from the ground floor, rich! And to burn this motherfucking place to the ground.
Lloyd, are you with me? (Lloyd freezes and doesn’t say a thing).
Ari: Lloyd, what are you doing. You and me, we have a special bond. Come on, let’s go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.
Ari: I can’t swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after.

Ari: I just wanna have a private dinner with you and Vince as soon as possible.
E: Do discuss what? You’re freaking me out!
Ari: There’s no need to freak out. It’s all good, believe me. Just think of it as a State of the Union address for all my A-listers.

Ari: Lloyd, I want you to pledge your undying loyalty to me.
Lloyd: Ari…
Ari: Listen, Lloyd. Do you wanna make it or do you wanna fold shirts at a Chinese laundry? Now pledge!

Ari: This envelope contains the names of eight agents. Anyone catches you, you eat it. Comprende? Nod if you understand what I’m saying.
Lloyd: I understand.
Ari: You can’t just fucking nod?

Terence: I’ve always been fair with you.
Ari: You were being fair with me when you said you were leaving. You coming back now, is not fair.

Terence: I’m coming back, full time.
Ari: Mohamed Ali came back once too often too, Terence.