Ari Gold Quotes

Ari (calling E.): Hey, idiot.
E: Hey, what’s up asshole? Listen, I know about the US Weekly pictures, I’m not worried.
Ari: What does worry you Eric? You’re just so fucking calm and poised, makes me wanna smack ya.

Ari: What d’you got Babs?
Barbara: I got a giant fucking migraine, that’s what I got.
Ari: I give you one of my famous shoulder massages, you remember those from the old days?
Barbara: I do Ari. I also remember you threatened to sue me for sexual harassment right before I fired you!
Ari (chuckles): We settled out of court?
Barbara: Enough with the flirting, Ari.

Vince (getting an expensive painting): We must be moving up!
Ari: Like the god damn Jeffersons!

Ari: Lloyd! You were a art history major at Sarah Lawrence College right?
Lloyd (grinning): Yes, I was!
Ari: Then you know how to pull this [painting] off the wall?

Mrs. Ari: You are being ridiculous.
Ari: I’m being.. That’s exactly what you said at the Bill and Ted premiere, when Terrence said; I’ll take Keanu, you take the other guy.

Ari: Tonight we eat like kings, 500 a head.
Turtle (looking relieved): I’m starving!
Ari: Smoke more weed Turtle, seriously, smoke more weed.

Ari: You look great too, E. What’d ya do? Raid the boys department at Macy’s?

Terrence: Hey, I’m looking forward to my sitdown with our boy. (walks away)
Ari (smiling, then turning to Mrs. Ari): Sitdown! That schnitzel loving fuck is trying to steal Vince.

(Sarah is singing)
Ari: Fabulous baby, Fabulous! (Turning to his wife): Is it me or is her voice getting worse?
Mrs. Ari: Ari!
Ari: Doesn’t mean that I don’t love her but she’s just awful baby!

Virtually zero screentime for Ari this episode. Too bad.