Ari Gold Quotes

Therepist: I’m sorry, we’ll have to stop soon. Ari, can you respond to this request?
Ari: No, who could.. and fuck you with your fucking clock!

Therapist: It’s nice to see that you find your voice.
Ari: When did she not had her voice?

Ari: Listen sweetheart. You wanna call and butter me up with sympathy and then drop this on me because you think that I’m down and will take anything – let me explain this to you in a metaphor you will understand. I am sure there are guys who have fingered you in the ass long enough that eventually you let them fuck it. And now you think you got me bent over with your finger in my ass thinking I will let you do the same. I am not like you Dana. You will not FUCK ME IN THE ASS, VINCE WILL NOT PISS IN A CUP FOR YOU, OR ANYONE ELSE.

Ari: Why don’t we start the day off with some hugs and kisses? Everyone except for you and me Lloyd, that ain’t happening.

Ari: If you don’t wanna talk and you don’t wanna have sex, what else is there to do in [the bedroom].
Mrs. Ari: You wanna talk?
Ari: I’d rather have sex…

Ari: The guest bed is not designed for an athletically built man.

Ari: I love you Dana, and if I’d ever cheat on my wife it will be you I’m fucking.

Ari: I don’t make the rules. Not all of them anyways.

Ari: I think that you know what I think about your thoughts, Babs.

Deadline Hollywood: You’d better give me something.
Ari: Howard Stern is gonna be the new host of Jeopardy. You didn’t hear it from me.