Ari Gold Quotes

Dana Gordon: You’re full of shit!
Ari: I was full of shit when I told you I had a condom at Live Aid.

(Turtle thinks Ari can sell the movie for 150 million dollars)
Ari: I like the faith Turtle, but not with Dana not. She made me split the abortion.

(Crew talking about “The Secret” and wishing stuff)
Ari: It doesn’t matter what any of you wish, ’cause you are with the master of universe, and he will deliver a sale of Medellin, not to be believed!

Billy: You know he’s bringing his wife to Cannes?
Vince: No, you bringing you’re wife? It’s supposed to be a boys trip!
Ari: Vinnie, when you get married you realize that a wife is like a herpes source. She comes and goes when and where she pleases.

E: I hated it [the script]. But the guy already commited to do it and I was trying to be postive
Ari: Wow, after 5 years you finally learned to lie. Welcome to Hollywood!

(Ari is giving a flight attentend a hard time on not informing him about the delay)
Flight attentend: Sir this had been an extraordinary day! We’re at code red.
Ari: Please. Come on! We’re at code red everytime the president has a loose stool.

Lloyd: You said that if you’re wife didn’t go to Cannes, that I could.
Ari: When did I say that?
Lloyd: When you said it wasn’t time for me to get promoted yet.
Ari: You know what Lloyd? I’m in the middle of a code red alert. I got military police everywhere, Germand shepherds ready to attack at a moments notice, I’m facing three hour delays and an uncertain, unsafe future. So get off my ass and go get my wife some favorite flowers!

(Vince and his entourage want to board the plane but there is one seat too few)
Ari: Everyone that not has a purpose in Cannes, say I. Turtle, Drama, don’t hold back.

(Lloyd tells Ari he’s going on vacation)
Ari: Listen, have a great time, wear a life vest because the only bobbing you should be doing is on Tom’s cock.

(Ari returning from a talk with heartbroken Vince)
Lloyd: How’d it go?
Ari: How’d the fucking Bay of Pigs go, Lloyd?