Ari Gold Quotes

(Adam Davies reveals himself to be the traitor within Ari’s coup d’état)
Ari (Davies turns away to leave): Hey, Adam.
Adam Davies: Yeah, Ari?
Ari: Just so you know, your girlfriend, when she was in the mailroom, offered to blow me. True story.

Ari: Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, everything! into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioner’s mask, and a god damn spike paddle, don’t think, just pack that bitch! Chop suey!

Ari: Now, I want you to go to each of these agents – discreetly – and say the words “tse-tse fly”. Say nothing else. Now go.
Lloyd: Ari, are you leaving the agency…
Ari: “Silence” is fucking golden.

(E wants to take up the managing business)
Ari: So you come to me for advice. I’m gonna fucking cry. All right, here’s what you do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.
Eric: He doesn’t need me that much.
Ari: Of course he doesn’t need you. You’re fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That’s not the point.
Eric: Then what is the point, Ari?
Ari: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn’t trust anyone in this world but you. You’ve been born into royalty baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful, and wear the crown.

Ari: Call me Helen Keller because I’m a fucking miracle worker!

Ari: You wanna hug it out? Let’s hug it out bitch.

Ari: Is that the way they drive in Tiananmen Square, bitch?

Ari (being interviewed on Medellin): I always try to steer my clients away from working with unexperienced directors and producers, because why take a chance? Vinnie really wanted to do this movie and there was no stopping him. But then when he wanted to put up his own money I thought that was crazy. ‘Cause look: most movies lose money. It’s my job as a talent representative to make sure that even if a movie loses all of it’s money, my client still sees al of his.

Ari (being interviewed on Medellin): When a director falls for an actor on set, all bets are off. If he doens’t get her, bet you have a problem. When someone else gets her, bet the house.

(Ari talking to his wife about his son not getting into Briar)
Ari: He’s a legacy. Legacies are a sure thing as me having to beg for blowjobs.