Ari Gold Quotes

Ari: I did play a little [football] in high school. I was pretty good for a Jew.

Lizzy: You screwed me. And I’m gonna do everything I can to pay you back.
Ari: Is it that time of the month for you Lizzy? Because I think that your hormones are making your brain forget WHO YOU’RE THREATENING.

Ari: Well I was hoping that we could part on good terms.
Lizzy: You can go fuck yourself Ari.
Ari: Now is that nice? I’m preparing a nice severance package for you. You don’t want me angry when I’m writing you a check, do you?

Ari (off to speak with Lizzy who is leaving the company): Send ‘m off with sweetness Jake! Hopefully you won’t have to taste my sugar any time soon.
Assistant: Yeah, let’s hope.

Assistant: Ari, you don’t have to be nervous. You’re gonna do great.
Ari: What are you, my life coach?

Assistant: I couldn’t find out what Katzenberg likes to eat.
Ari: He lives off Diet Coke, you see how lean he is?

Ari [to Babs]: Hah, like a good cop bad cop game huh? I like it, maybe later we can role play huh? Is it just me or would you look great in leather pants and gag ball?

Ari: [Lizzy] looks 21.
Babs: Her looks don’t matter.
Ari: Really? We’d still have the head of our TV department if that were the case.

Babs: I wanna talk about Lizzy.
Ari: Oh Jezus, she went running to her grandmother.

Babs [walking in to Ari's office]: Ari?
Ari: Didn’t we already top our one conversation per day rule Babs?