Ari Gold Quotes

Lloyd: Ari, you’re wearing the same suit as yesterday?
Ari: That’s because I spent the night in jail
Lloyd: OMG, Ari, why didn’t you call me?
Ari: Because you get one call and I wanted to use it on someone I like to have sex with.

(Lloyd offers to fix E’s ripped shirt)
Ari: Save your homo erotic slave labor for me Lloyd. E, don’t take your shirt off. I don’t want anyone to go blind from the reflections of your translucent boy chest.

Ari: This is not good news. Good news is when the wife agrees to eat box for your birthday. This is great news.

Ari: How is the most fuckable president of productive in town?
Dana: Ari, get the fuck out
Ari: Brought Cristal and sprinklers cupcakes.. Your favorite. Or is it mine? What’s the difference, we used to eat everything off each other anyway.

(Ari meets Josh Weinstein, Heath’s manager)
Ari: There’s a reason why he chose to have some sherpa who was educated at Oxford to show ‘m up the mountain. (..) Look Josh, I don’t mean to tell you your business, but what do you think they were doing in that cave for two weeks? They were using each others asses as handwarmers!

Ari: I parted the red sea for you E., don’t piss on the sand.

(Vince, E and Billy hug after deciding to make Lost in the Clouds – Lloyd just told Ari he and Tom broke up)
Ari: Will you look at that! Love is in the air huh! Is this beautiful or what Lloyd? Come and join us in a group hug, could be a while before you get some!

(Ari visits Lloyd at home)
Ari: Living large Lloyd, looks like I’m paying you too much!

(Ari goes to Tom’s work place)
Ari: You’re Tom? Lloyd’s Tom? (..) I don’t get it. You’re a good looking guy, you could get girls.

E: Just tell us what our options are Ari.
Ari: Well, we could all drink poison gatorade and hope the next life will be better than this one. Come one E, you drink first.