Ari Gold Quotes

Lizzy: You got the [NFL] meeting? Shit that’s impressive.
Ari: Yeah, I’d blow myself if I was more flexible.

Lizzy: I’m not asking you because I need you, but I’m on the verge of signing an executive producer from Glee.
Ari: I don’t sing.

Account guy: You have to talk to the accounting department.
Ari: I don’t have anything.
Account guy: I have multiple clients with checks missing.
Ari: That’s not a king’s job!

[Mrs. Ari wants Ari to buy her an Italien chandelier, but Ari has to go to his NFL meeting]
Ari: I sell the tv rights and I will buy you Italy.

Jerry: Confident.
Ari: I deliver Jerry. Always have. Ask anyone. Even my wife who’s in the car.
[gesturing to Mrs. Ari that she should speak up]
Mrs. Ari: He always delivers Mr. Jones.

Jerry: You’re a persistant fellow.
Ari: I haven’t gotten to where I am by giving up easily.

Mrs. Ari: [This chandelier] is murano glass and it was originally owned by Sophie Loren.
Ari: I’d rather look at nude photos of her original body

Ari: Jesus Christ you all suck. If I wouldn’t have a five year lease on this place I would shut it down and work out of a cardboard box by myself.

Director: Payback’s a bitch, Ari.
Ari: Well back when you were on the sage you’d try to fuck it.

Ari: Maybe they don’t want to make a show with you Drama.
Drama: They gave me a holding deal.
Ari: The guy who grills my hot dog at Carney’s had a holding deal in 1978.