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Belt Parkway

15 Jun

E: We know what we wanna do next.
Ari: What? The fucking Belt Parkway?

Fuck my Assistant

15 Jun

E: What? You fired Emily?
Ari: I had to E. To make sure you wouldn’t fuck another one of my assistants. You’re not gonna try to fuck Lloyd are you?

Pay Up

7 Jan

E: I’m impressed Ari, a totally selfless meal.
Ari: Yeah, well, you’re paying, ’cause you’ve got the job.

Care About Jessica

7 Jan

Ari: Vince is the only client I’ve ever had that I considered a friend, all right? The only one I really cared about. I mean, Jessica Biel too, but I cared about her (opening his chop sticks) for very different reasons.

Pronto Tonto

7 Jan

Lloyd: Where to?
Ari: Malibu. Pronto Tonto!

Indie 500

7 Jan

Ari: Say goodbye to that Masarati, E. I see a shiny new Vespa in your future. (walking towards Lloyd’s stunt car)
E: Yeah, good luck in the Indie 500.
Lloyd: Morning, E!
E: Morning Lloyd.
Ari: Don’t say good morning to him!

Fucked

7 Jan

Ari: You even know how fucked you are? I mean, you are so fucking fucked. I mean, I think you are the most fucked person I know. (hears the bleeping sound of a car). Shit, here comes the wife. Just pretend like it’s all good.
E: You didn’t tell your wife?
Ari: No. When the time’s right, yeah.
E: When the time is right, It’s on the cover of Variety!
Ari: She doesn’t read Variety, she reads InStyle.

Lottery

7 Jan

Ari: What, you wanna quit too?
E: Actually, I think I might, yeah.
Ari: E! The garbage man who wins the lottery does not throw out the ticket!

Last Christmas

7 Jan

Lloyd (trough the intercom): It’s Lloyd, looking for Mr. Gold’s car.
Ernesto: Sorry Lloyd, it’s a company car. Mr. McQuewick said I can’t give it to him.
Ari (furious): Can’t give it to me? Ernesto! How many fucking pesos did I give you for Christmas? Huh Ernesto? Every Christmas for the past decade! Half of Mexico is eating on my chip that I’ve given you. Now bring my motherfucking car now! Por Favor!
Ernesto: Sorry, Mr. Gold. Oh, and Mr. Gold? I’m from Guatemala and our currency is the Quetzal.

Ari’s Agency

7 Jan

Ari: When I go, in no time, you will be repping nobodies, like Bill from the Apprentice. No one needs to make a decision right now. I will be starting my own agency. Two very important goals will apply. To make everyone, who is one, from the ground floor, rich! And to burn this motherfucking place to the ground.
Lloyd, are you with me? (Lloyd freezes and doesn’t say a thing).
Ari: Lloyd, what are you doing. You and me, we have a special bond. Come on, let’s go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.
Ari: I can’t swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after.