Ari Gold Quotes

Ari (on his phone): Well did it ever occur to you that a seven o’clock dinner in Santa fucking Monica is too early? .. I’m sorry baby, I had a bad day, I will be there, I would not leave you alone with my mother I know what could happen. Love and kisses, love and kisses.

Ari (entering his office): Oh-oh, you boy look angry. If there was plastic on the floor I’d think I was about to get whacked.

Barbara: Eric, we both know Vince has fucked half the actrices in this town. Mandy on the other hand, is a good girl.
E: You seriously gonna sit here and let ‘m bad mouth Vince like this?
Ari: I thought that was a compliment.

Barbara: So Ari, who’s gonna be running this shindig? You or me?
Ari: You’ve got the biggest cock in the room Babs, why don’t you kick it off?

Ari (before entering the “War Room”): Little memory trick; when they introduce themselves, use association, like when you say Eric Murphey, and I think you know, “Loser”.
E: Ah, like Ari Gold, douchebag?

Ari: We’re going to hell, so bring your sunblock.

Ari (calling E.): Hey, idiot.
E: Hey, what’s up asshole? Listen, I know about the US Weekly pictures, I’m not worried.
Ari: What does worry you Eric? You’re just so fucking calm and poised, makes me wanna smack ya.

Ari: What d’you got Babs?
Barbara: I got a giant fucking migraine, that’s what I got.
Ari: I give you one of my famous shoulder massages, you remember those from the old days?
Barbara: I do Ari. I also remember you threatened to sue me for sexual harassment right before I fired you!
Ari (chuckles): We settled out of court?
Barbara: Enough with the flirting, Ari.

Vince (getting an expensive painting): We must be moving up!
Ari: Like the god damn Jeffersons!

Ari: Lloyd! You were a art history major at Sarah Lawrence College right?
Lloyd (grinning): Yes, I was!
Ari: Then you know how to pull this [painting] off the wall?