Ari Gold Quotes » 05 – Crash and Burn

Matchbox or Hot Wheels

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:01:32 +0000

Ari: Where are you, sounds like you’re being fucked with a jackhammer.
E: I’m test driving a new car!
Ari: Matchbox or Hot Weels?

Virginity on a Moped

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:01:15 +0000

E: Vince feels bad about giving away my Masserati.
Ari: Wow, when my father gave away *my* car I was forced to lose my virginity on the back of a moped.

Fucking the Gardener

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:00:54 +0000

E: Ari, Vince really wants to do Medillon, he already started learning Spanish.
Ari: I know, he left 15 messages on the machine, my wife thinks I’m fucking the gardener.

100% El Certainto

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:00:34 +0000

(The housekeeper tells Ari Sarah was on the phone with Max)
Ari: Are you a 100% El Certainto it was Max?

Dakote Fanning with a Dick

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:00:08 +0000

Ari: Jimmy Whitacker is a spoiled prick, you wanna hire Max Ballard. He’s Dakota Fanning with a dick.

Pygmy drug mule

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:59:36 +0000

Ari: Oh-oh. What happened E? Haggis tried to cast you as a pygmy drug mule?

Noah can build an arc

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:59:14 +0000

Ari (learns that Haggis needs the full 90 days to shoot Medillon): Noah can build an arc and save all of God’s creatures in 40 days, he can’t shoot a movie in 65?

Blowjob before Dinner

Daan — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:58:53 +0000

(Mrs. Ari is moved by Ari’s caring about Sarah)
Ari: How about a quick blowjob before my Vince dinner?