Ari Gold Quotes » 06 – Three’s Company

Less Than Jake

Daan — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 14:01:36 +0000

Ari: It’s too late for sorries. Vince is out! Jake Gyllenhaal is in! Brokeback motherfucking Aquaman. Take that bitch! Read about it in the papers tomorrow, but pass it along to Vince, or Drama, or whoever will talk to you now.

Fuck Dana

Daan — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 13:58:30 +0000

Dana: Ari, look, we’re all very glad that Vince came to his senses. But how did you manage to talk him up for lunch?
Ari: It was very simple Dana. I actually told him that he would have to fuck you if he didn’t.

Work for Lloyd

Daan — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 13:50:06 +0000

Ari: Anyone make any progress getting Johnny Chase a job?
Lloyd: I got some calls in!
Ari: Any agents in the building HAVE ANY CALLS IN? SOMEBODY DO BETTER FUCKING SOMETHING OR TOMORROW YOU WILL BE WORKING FOR FUCKING LLOYD!!!

Get Drama a Job

Daan — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 13:40:32 +0000

Ari: People, staff meeting has been cancelled. You all have one goal today: to get Vincent Chase’s brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job! I don’t care if it’s a porn shoot in which he is being gang raped by a gaggle of silverback apes, if there are cameras rolling, everybody wins. 10 grand for anyone that can deliver this to me, today.

Yen

Daan — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 13:40:21 +0000

Lloyd: Can I vie for the 10 grant priza also, Ari?
Ari: Sure, but you’ll get payed in Yen.

Pull a Chapelle

Daan — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 13:33:19 +0000

(Vince doesn’t want to do Aquaman 2, not even for 10 million)
Ari: Yes, Allen, yes, listen, you’ve been more than generous. You know actors, crazy comes to the territory.
Allen: I understand, Ari, but if this nonsense continues much longer, I might get mad.
Ari: Believe me Allen, I more than anyone else do not want to get you mad. I’ve seen you on the racquetball court. Listen, I know that franchises do not grow on trees. I will call Vince myself and tell him how mad I will be if he tries to pull a Chapelle.

Needles in my Cock

Daan — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 14:38:13 +0000

Ari: Tell Drama he’s on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my cock!