Ari Gold Quotes

Ari: Lloyd, be a man. Or as much as a man you can be. For god fucking sakes.

(Lloyd walks in with a zit on his forehead)
Ari: You’re Indian now Lloyd?
Lloyd: Jezus, you can see this? All this lying is making me break out. Oh god, I have a date tonight.
Ari: Well, I’m sure your date will pop that with his pecker.

(Barbara Miller calls)
Ari: Hey Babs, what are you wearing!?
Barbara: We need to have lunch, Ari. The word is out and it’s spreading.
Ari: Oh, you mean that shit about you getting lipoed? Don’t worry about that, you know, from what I hear Dr. Desser is like a fucking Picasso with that knife.

(Barbara tricked Ari into a meeting with Terrence)
Ari: I always knew you liked dick Barbara, I just didn’t know you were a cocksucker.
(to Terrence): It’s like a meeting of the five families. Maybe I should had a gun taped up at the bathroom stall.

Ari: Fuck the phones Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency tittie fuck, DON’T ANSWER!

Ari (to his agents): None of you will be getting paid for about six months. (..) People, come on! First year at Google, they paid their staff with paperclips, now the guy that scrubbed the toilets, has got a billion 5. Who’s with me?

Ari: Hey Babs, the Traitorous Skanks Anonymous meeting’s next door.

Ari: So what do you want?
Barbara: I wanna fuck. (..) Kidding. I want 60% in (??)
Ari: I’d rather fuck.