Ari Gold Quotes » 17 – Return of the King

Hot Body

Daan — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 17:03:09 +0000

(Ari, Mrs. Gold and Sarah Gold are going to Temple for Yom Kippur)
Sarah: I hate this, I’m starving.
Ari: Now you know what mommy goes trough every day to make a hot body for daddy.

Breathmint

Daan — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 17:02:18 +0000

Sarah: Daddy ate a breathmint!
Mrs. Gold: What?
Ari: Now you have to atone for ratting daddy out baby. (to Mrs. Gold): What, you think God wants my breath to smell?

Sick

Daan — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 17:01:56 +0000

(Sarah discovers Ari talking business behind the temple)
Sarah: Mom told me to go find you.
Ari: You did! I’m in the bathroom, I’m not feeling well. I’m on my hands and knees, I’m getting very sick right now, honey.
Sarah: You want me to lie?
Ari: That is the beauty of Yom Kippur. As long as you apologize by sundown it doesn’t matter what you do.

No Car, No Money

Daan — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 17:01:43 +0000

(Ari and Nicky don’t have a car)
Nicky: Call a cab?
Ari: Got any money?
Nicky: No, Ma took it. You?
Ari: Wife took everything but my fillings.
Nicky: So what now?
Ari: Now, like our desert-dwelling ancestors, we walk.

Neurotic Irishman

Daan — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 17:01:27 +0000

Ari: Let’s call E, put the fear of God into a little Irishman. He’s more of a neurotic jew than you are.

Brisket

Daan — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 16:50:22 +0000

(Vince and E. come to Ari’s house)
Ari: Ah, will you look at this ah? The boys of Queens are in the market for some brisket!