Ari Gold Quotes

Terrence: I’m prepared to offer you *four* million dollars.
Ari: Four? (pauzes) Ok, first, let me counter by saying .. fuck you!

Ari (walking in on Mrs. Ari’s friends lunch): Ah, the girls from Wysteria Lane. Which one of you is hiding a large black man in your basement?

Ari (leaving the lunch): Lunch is on me, provided that uh, Joyce, you still have youir stomach stapeled.

Ari: My wife lost a contact, Davies. Why don’t you pop out and help us, maybe I give you a little curbing when you’re on your knees.

Davies: I have something better you can bid on.
Ari: Well, you’re selling your ass again Davies?

Ari: You really think we can work together..
Davies: Come on, Ari, we’re all animals. We just go whereever’s the most food.
Ari: Well, my fridge is bare pal.

Ari: Where are you, sounds like you’re being fucked with a jackhammer.
E: I’m test driving a new car!
Ari: Matchbox or Hot Weels?

E: Vince feels bad about giving away my Masserati.
Ari: Wow, when my father gave away *my* car I was forced to lose my virginity on the back of a moped.

E: Ari, Vince really wants to do Medillon, he already started learning Spanish.
Ari: I know, he left 15 messages on the machine, my wife thinks I’m fucking the gardener.

(The housekeeper tells Ari Sarah was on the phone with Max)
Ari: Are you a 100% El Certainto it was Max?