Ari Gold Quotes

Ari: Come on now, let’s be classy. You’ve been banging every girl (..) for the last six months, just pick the one skank that’s gonna photograph well and be done with it. Boom!
E: That does sound classy!

Ari: It’s pretty urgent that in the 15 minutes a day I have free, I take the time to keep this body fit. And not just so you have a great ass to look at, I want to life!

Ari (to his wife): You need to trust me the way you trust your daddy’s trust fund. I mean, you call them personal savings, but you haven’t saved shit personally.

Ari: Lloyd, be a man. Or as much as a man you can be. For god fucking sakes.

(Lloyd walks in with a zit on his forehead)
Ari: You’re Indian now Lloyd?
Lloyd: Jezus, you can see this? All this lying is making me break out. Oh god, I have a date tonight.
Ari: Well, I’m sure your date will pop that with his pecker.

(Barbara Miller calls)
Ari: Hey Babs, what are you wearing!?
Barbara: We need to have lunch, Ari. The word is out and it’s spreading.
Ari: Oh, you mean that shit about you getting lipoed? Don’t worry about that, you know, from what I hear Dr. Desser is like a fucking Picasso with that knife.

(Barbara tricked Ari into a meeting with Terrence)
Ari: I always knew you liked dick Barbara, I just didn’t know you were a cocksucker.
(to Terrence): It’s like a meeting of the five families. Maybe I should had a gun taped up at the bathroom stall.

Ari: You’re not my mother, Babs.
Barbara: Fuck you, Ari!
Ari: See, my mother would never speak to me that way!

Ari: Fuck the phones Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency tittie fuck, DON’T ANSWER!

Ari (to his agents): None of you will be getting paid for about six months. (..) People, come on! First year at Google, they paid their staff with paperclips, now the guy that scrubbed the toilets, has got a billion 5. Who’s with me?