Archive | 08 – Gary’s Desk RSS feed for this section

No More Drama

11 Feb

Ari: Jim, listen to me. Just man the fuck up, OK? We got Mary J. coming in today, it’s time to heed the woman’s lyrics; No More Drama!

274-COCK

22 Aug

(E answers the phone in his new office)
E: Eric Murphey!
Ari: Like the new office number E. You know it spells 274-COCK…
E: It does not!
Ari: No it doesn’t but I made you look…

E has come out to play!

22 Aug

Ari: Well listen, if you want people to call you back may I suggest that you get a fan, with a large bullhorn on the top, drive around Hollywood announcing that after three years of hibernating in Vincent Chase’s ass, Eric Murphey has come out to play-ay!

Siblings

22 Aug

(Jim has a fight with his brother)
Ari: You know how siblings can be, right?
Jim: Oh, you have a brother?
Ari: I do, and a whore of a sister. So I can relate to the siblings-squablings.

Reality Show

22 Aug

(Twins Jeff and Jim are fighting in the conference room)
Ari: Bring ‘m into my office when this is over and remind me to sell this as a reality show.

Fucking Replica

22 Aug

(Ari interrogates the twins on what happened)
Jim: He fucked my wife, Ari.
Ari: He did not. You did? You fucked his wife? As you?
Jeff: What?
Ari: Did you pretend to be him or did she actually fuck, thinking you were you? (…)
I’m just… I’m trying to figure out why she did that. I mean, If I was to cheat on my wife it would be with like a busty blonde or an Asian with porny nipples. But an exact fucking replica?

Hope for Lloyd

22 Aug

(Lloyd is all exited about Mary J. Blidge’s visit)
Ari: She’s a chick Lloyd, there may be hope for you yet.

One Embryo

22 Aug

Ari (sweeps Jim’s desk): How can one embryo produce two fucking losers?
Jim: Ari, what’s the problem?
Ari: The problems is, you’re a disgusting mutant. Now go reconjoin with your brother on the unemployment line.