Ari Gold Quotes

Ari: Nine Brave Souls. Don’t know what this is, never heard of these guys.
E: I found that one.
Ari: What, you’re jerking out of Turtle’s cock?

Ari: No Indies E! Think of it as the holocaust, never again!

Ari: You’re in movie jail.
Vince: Well, how do I get out? What do I have to do?
Ari: You just do what you’ve been doing, you just sit tight, OK? You wait.
Vince: Wait for what?
Ari: For the stenge from Medillon to dissapear.
Vince: How long is that gonna take?
Ari: How long did it take for the air to clean from fucking Chernobyl?

E: So what you want us to do? Sit around and do nothing?
Ari: I thought you weren’t gonna talk, but since you are: yes. You should sit around and do nothing, or maybe go to Vinnie’s super secret hideaway in Mexico and come back when you’re tanned. Or tall. Whichever comes first.

Ari: You will come back stronger then ever. Like Lance Armstrong. But with two balls.

Ari: I never lied to you…
Mark Wahlberg: What about when you told me you liked the truth about Charlie?
Ari: What is the truth about Charlie?

Ari (golfing): Rusty cunt bucket! FUCK
Mark Wahlberg: I wasn’t laughing…
Ari: FUUUCCKKK!

E: Because I wanna sell their script, I need an agent to do that.
Ari: Try the Yellow Pages.

E: Come on Ari, I’m calling as a friend, all right? I need your help. It’s a really good script, can you help me?
Ari: Yes, I can E. Lloyd! Get the number for UCLA Extension so Eric can take a course of finally learning how the movie business works.

Lloyd (wants to get Ari out of a screening): Vince is gonna be here in ten minutes.
Ari: Jezus, I can’t walk out of here ’cause the director’s sitting right behind me.
Lloyd: So what should I do?
Ari (hesitates): Pull the plug on the projector.

(Ari calls E when he hears Vince is coming in, unhappy)
E: You’re calling to apologize?
Ari: I’m calling to tell you that I blame you for every bad thing that’s ever happened to Vince, and every bad thing that ever could happen to him for the rest of his life [takes a cell phone from an employee and smashes it on the floor]. You’re the unfucking lucky charm, you hear me? You should never utter the words “I found a good script”, ’cause you have no idea what a good fucking script looks like. LIVE WITH THAT!

Lloyd (panicy): He’s here, he is here, Vince is here!
Ari: What are you, speedballing fairy dust? Go out there and greet him like a man.

Vince: One bad movie, and this is what happens? Was I really that awful?
Ari: Straight up Vinnie, movie was awful. And yes, you were awful in it. But you know what? One bad movie can be overwon. Look at Colin Farrel, he’s overcome dozens of ‘m because the perception of him is… he’s a movie star.

Ari (to Vince): This town loves a comeback, and since Britney fucked hers up, it’s all you!

Online tomorrow!