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Turtle’s Cock

15 Sep

Ari: Nine Brave Souls. Don’t know what this is, never heard of these guys.
E: I found that one.
Ari: What, you’re jerking out of Turtle’s cock?

Holocaust

15 Sep

Ari: No Indies E! Think of it as the holocaust, never again!

Air in Chernobyl

15 Sep

Ari: You’re in movie jail.
Vince: Well, how do I get out? What do I have to do?
Ari: You just do what you’ve been doing, you just sit tight, OK? You wait.
Vince: Wait for what?
Ari: For the stenge from Medillon to dissapear.
Vince: How long is that gonna take?
Ari: How long did it take for the air to clean from fucking Chernobyl?

Get Tanned or Tall

15 Sep

E: So what you want us to do? Sit around and do nothing?
Ari: I thought you weren’t gonna talk, but since you are: yes. You should sit around and do nothing, or maybe go to Vinnie’s super secret hideaway in Mexico and come back when you’re tanned. Or tall. Whichever comes first.

Armstrong with Two Balls

15 Sep

Ari: You will come back stronger then ever. Like Lance Armstrong. But with two balls.

The Truth about Charlie

15 Sep

Ari: I never lied to you…
Mark Wahlberg: What about when you told me you liked the truth about Charlie?
Ari: What is the truth about Charlie?

Rusty Cunt Bucket

15 Sep

Ari (golfing): Rusty cunt bucket! FUCK
Mark Wahlberg: I wasn’t laughing…
Ari: FUUUCCKKK!

Try Yellow Pages

15 Sep

E: Because I wanna sell their script, I need an agent to do that.
Ari: Try the Yellow Pages.

UCLA Extension

15 Sep

E: Come on Ari, I’m calling as a friend, all right? I need your help. It’s a really good script, can you help me?
Ari: Yes, I can E. Lloyd! Get the number for UCLA Extension so Eric can take a course of finally learning how the movie business works.

Pull the Plug

15 Sep

Lloyd (wants to get Ari out of a screening): Vince is gonna be here in ten minutes.
Ari: Jezus, I can’t walk out of here ’cause the director’s sitting right behind me.
Lloyd: So what should I do?
Ari (hesitates): Pull the plug on the projector.