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The Jew has arrived

17 Nov

Ari: It’s all gonna be fine.
E: How?
Ari: Because the Jew has arrived and he doesn’t like Germans!

Dancing Cucumber

17 Nov

Ari: My client has performed as fine as in every movie he’s ever done, including a blockbuster for an Oscar winning AMERICAN director.
Werner: Well this is a film about human beings with layers. It’s not about some swimming super hero.
Ari: Well I don’t care if it’s a movie about a dancing cucumber.

Wienerschnitzel Commercial

17 Nov

Werner: Are you threatening me?
Ari: If you consider me telling you that you will be lucky to get a Der Wienerschnitzel commercial in this country if you don’t go back to work, then yeah, it’s a fucking threat.

Paintball

17 Nov

Werner: This conversation is over.
Ari: Nothing is over. When I’m done with you it will make the battle of Normandy look like game of fucking paintball.

Rollercoaster

17 Nov

Ari: Dana, how’s my favorite studio head who I made?
Dana: Ha ha, great. You know two days in our theme park in Sydney is quite a stress reliever.
Ari: Well imagine three children has got tossed off the rollercoaster and then some.

Blowing hack writers

17 Nov

Dana: I will be on the ground in L.A. in 90 minutes.
Ari: In 90 minutes you could be back blowing hack writers just to get on the [??] to get a cup of coffee. Dana. You know, WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Nothing worth interpreting

17 Nov

Vince: What’d he say?
Ari: Nothing worth interpreting.

Kevin Smith

17 Nov

Ari: Half the town is out of a job and you can’t find me one available director?
Lloyd: Kevin Smith isn’t doing anything..
Ari: Are you looking at the DGA list or are you staring out the window at the line of the Sprinkles fucking cupcake store?

Double Penetration

17 Nov

Ari: Dana Gordon owes me.
E: So what, you really think she’ll let you replace the director?
Ari: After what I did for her, she would let us double penetrate her if I asked her!

Germany Ca. 1939

17 Nov

(Vince and E are in the room with Dana, Werner and Ari)
Werner: I do not understand why they are here…
Ari: Because it’s a free country and not Germany circa 1939.