Ari Gold Quotes

E: Because I wanna sell their script, I need an agent to do that.
Ari: Try the Yellow Pages.

E: Come on Ari, I’m calling as a friend, all right? I need your help. It’s a really good script, can you help me?
Ari: Yes, I can E. Lloyd! Get the number for UCLA Extension so Eric can take a course of finally learning how the movie business works.

Lloyd (wants to get Ari out of a screening): Vince is gonna be here in ten minutes.
Ari: Jezus, I can’t walk out of here ’cause the director’s sitting right behind me.
Lloyd: So what should I do?
Ari (hesitates): Pull the plug on the projector.

(Ari calls E when he hears Vince is coming in, unhappy)
E: You’re calling to apologize?
Ari: I’m calling to tell you that I blame you for every bad thing that’s ever happened to Vince, and every bad thing that ever could happen to him for the rest of his life [takes a cell phone from an employee and smashes it on the floor]. You’re the unfucking lucky charm, you hear me? You should never utter the words “I found a good script”, ’cause you have no idea what a good fucking script looks like. LIVE WITH THAT!

Lloyd (panicy): He’s here, he is here, Vince is here!
Ari: What are you, speedballing fairy dust? Go out there and greet him like a man.

Vince: One bad movie, and this is what happens? Was I really that awful?
Ari: Straight up Vinnie, movie was awful. And yes, you were awful in it. But you know what? One bad movie can be overwon. Look at Colin Farrel, he’s overcome dozens of ‘m because the perception of him is… he’s a movie star.

Ari (to Vince): This town loves a comeback, and since Britney fucked hers up, it’s all you!

Online tomorrow!

Ari: Attention everyone please! Listen up! No one mentions Richard Roeper again. Not today, not ever. By doing so, you are simply announcing that on sunday night instead of doing your job, reading scripts, you’re watching TV. The NEXT PERSON to mention Richard Roeper will be fired. And Lloyd.. you will also be fired if you don’t answer THE FUCKING PHONE!!!

Employee: I liked Medellin, Ari.
Ari: Then you’re a fucking idiot.