Ari Gold Quotes

Vince: What’d he say?
Ari: Nothing worth interpreting.

Ari: Half the town is out of a job and you can’t find me one available director?
Lloyd: Kevin Smith isn’t doing anything..
Ari: Are you looking at the DGA list or are you staring out the window at the line of the Sprinkles fucking cupcake store?

Ari: Dana Gordon owes me.
E: So what, you really think she’ll let you replace the director?
Ari: After what I did for her, she would let us double penetrate her if I asked her!

(Vince and E are in the room with Dana, Werner and Ari)
Werner: I do not understand why they are here…
Ari: Because it’s a free country and not Germany circa 1939.

Dana (screaming to Werner): Get your ass back here. I hired you and you have movie to finish for which your getting a lot of money to do, and that is exactly what is going to fucking happen. Do You Understand me?
Ari: I do! … Anyone else turned on right now?

Ari: Jezus Christ, is it too much to ask for a god damn egg in the house?
Sarah: Hah, what’s your problem?
Ari: What’s your problem?
Sarah: Be more immature…
Ari: Listen, if a man can’t have breakfast cooked for him, is it too much to expect a trip to the store so he can could it for himself?
Sarah: Mom cooks us breakfast every morning, you’re always at work.
Ari: Let me get this straight, all women defend each other blindly?

Ari: The problem is, I can’t run my business the way I want to, not with that woman as my partner. You’re mother controls me at home, she controls me at work, where can a man be a man?

Ari: Any word from the wicked whitch from the East Wing?

Babs: Thank you for the flowers, Ari. (pauzes) Was that your idea or Lloyd’s?
Ari: My partner has been named the 33rd most powerful woman in Hollywood and you think I wouldn’t care enough to send flowers? I’m hurt.

Ari: What time is the luncheon by the way, I’d love to show up?
Babs: Eh.. No men allowed.
Ari: So it’s more of a rugmunch and then a luncheon…