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I am Making Him a Man

27 Jul

E (on Lloyd): What are you doing to the guy?
Ari: I’m making him a man. Do you remember when I made you one?

You Have no Career

27 Jul

Turtle: I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute.
Ari: Talk to me about what?
Turtle: Career advice.
Ari: For who?
Turtle: For me..
Ari But you don’t have a career.

Make No Mistake

27 Jul

Ari (to Turtle): Look. When my son was born, my greatest fear was having this conversation. I knew that I would give him anything he wanted because he was my son. And I couldn’t say no, which sucks because it wouldn’t help him and he’d just end up on the street doing heroine with the two corys because I was to much of a pussy to teach him a lesson. I won’t make that mistake with you.

Scene of Biblical Proportions

27 Jul

Ari: What I’m capable of doing and what you’re capable of doing are two totally different things.
E: So what would you do?
Ari: I would make a scene of biblical proportions. I would lie, scream, beg, borrow and steal. If that somehow didn’t part Amy Miller’s legs then I would call racism and I would yell for all to hear: “you’re really gonna fire my poor black client off the show he CREATED? I’m callin the NAACP, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and the ghost of my man – MALCOM X!”
E: Awesome. Guess I’m gonna try my own thing.