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No Pulse

14 Sep

(Ari walks into his office where his employees are gathered around his couch): What the hell is going on?
(finds Andrew sleeping on the couch)
Lloyd: Don’t worry mister Gold, he’s not dead. If felt for a pulse.
Ari (screaming): Everyone get out of here. Or I’m gonna be checking all of you for a pulse, and not finding one!

Fantasy Provided by Me

3 Sep

Ari: Put me on hold longer.
E: Ha, sorry, I actually have to work nowadays.
Ari: Glad that you finally admit the last five years of your life were all fantasy provided by me.

No Holiday Inn

3 Sep

Ari (to Andrew): It’s time for you to wake up and tell me why you think this is a Holiday Inn!