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Buried Him Beneath My Desk

14 Sep

Craig: Hi mister Gold! I’m Craig. HR sent me down here to fill in for Lloyd.
Ari: Great.
Craig: Yeah, I really look forward to helping you out. Uh.. Do you know when he’ll be back?
Ari: You want the truth?
Craig: Sure.
Ari: He won’t. I killed him. I shot him and I buried him beneath my desk. Any more questions?
Craig: No.
Ari: Good. Now get out of here before I kill you too.

On Your Knees

14 Sep

(Lloyd is ready to change Ari’s keyboard cord under his desk)
Ari: Wait ’till I’m out of the office before you get on your knees.

More Green

14 Sep

Ari: Where are the bottles?
Lloyd: You said you wanted to be more green.
Ari: That was because Leo was in earshot.

Slave

14 Sep

Ari: Lunch?
Andrew: Great!
Ari (to Lloyd): Slave! Call the Grill and tell them we’re on our way.

Call Your Mother

14 Sep

Ari: Now take a good look at [Andrew]. Alright. Now what do you see in him, that you don’t see in yourself?
Lloyd: I don’t know…
Ari: A purpose. Now call your mother and tell her you don’t have one.

I’m Gonna Waterboard You

14 Sep

Ari: That’s a personal call you’re on Lloyd. I’m gonna waterboard you.

Top of the Gestapo

14 Sep

Adam Davies: What could you possibly want Ari?
Ari: I just wanted to congratulate you on making it to the top of the gestapo!

You are a Peasant

14 Sep

Ari: Get [Adam Davies] on the phone and Zach too.
Lloyd: Zach who?
Ari: Zach who you don’t get to know his name because you are a peasant. (Shows Zac Efron’s phone number).
Lloyd: Oh good god. Abs alert!
Ari: Don’t whack off to the sound of his voice. Chop chop!