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Lloyd, Return to the King

6 Oct

Ari (shouting trough the corridors of Terrence’s offices): Now Lloyd, maybe you’re not here, maybe you are. Either way, you have nothing to fear because I’m not gonna kill you. I love you. You see even though you betrayed me you are the best slave that I ever had. I mean, who could possibly replace the way that you picked up my dry cleaning? No one. Who could better the way you picked up my dog’s shit?
And if I liked short fat men sucking on my dick I’m sure that no one could do it better than you either. So, return to the king or exile yourself from this town forever. You have until the end of the day tomorrow to agree to be rebranded MINE!

I’m Back, and You’re Fired!

6 Oct

Ari: Jesse, how have you been?
Jesss: I’ve been…
Ari (shoots him with a paintball gun): Great! I’m back, and you’re fired.

I’ll Settle for Hollywood.

5 Oct

Ari: I always dreamed about ruling the world, but now that I’m getting older I’ll settle for Hollywood.

Heart Like a Diamond

5 Oct

Terrence: Unlike you, I have a soft heart.
Ari: Haha. Soft like a diamond.

Cute Couple

5 Oct

Ari (spotting Adam Davies and Lloyd at Terrence’s office): You two make a cute couple!

I Hate ‘m All

5 Oct

Therapist: Is it possible that these people are the reason you wanna buy this agency? (…)
Ari: OK, Yes! If I could gouge out Terrence McQuewick’s eyeballs, and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies in a white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And LLOYD, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog and who left me for those two scumbags… I would tie him up and allow the entire screen actors guild to anally rape him if not for the fact that I know he would enjoy it. I hate ‘m all. And yes, I want to see them destroyed.