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Cheat

16 Aug

Ari: I love you Dana, and if I’d ever cheat on my wife it will be you I’m fucking.

Rules

16 Aug

Ari: I don’t make the rules. Not all of them anyways.

Thoughts

16 Aug

Ari: I think that you know what I think about your thoughts, Babs.

Howard Stern

16 Aug

Deadline Hollywood: You’d better give me something.
Ari: Howard Stern is gonna be the new host of Jeopardy. You didn’t hear it from me.

Gargled

16 Aug

Ari: I’ll give [Deadline Hollywood] a scoop.
Babs: Oh, you got one?
Ari: Yeah, I’m gonna tell her that you blew Mickey Rooney and gargled with it. She’ll love it.

Loose Stool

16 Aug

Ari: Deadline Hollywood would run a story about me having a loose stool much less having recorded tapes of me.

Laughing

16 Aug

Ari: What are you laughing about?
Employee: Nothing.
Ari: Then don’t.