Archive | 09 – Porn Scenes from an Italian Restaurant RSS feed for this section

You’re a Whore

30 Aug

Ari (to Amanda): You’re sorry? You’re sorry for what? You’re sorry for leaking slanderous out of context nonsense about me huh? And then rifling through all my hard work to steal my football team? Fuck you, ok? Fuck you. And now hold on a second. I’d never hit a woman in my entire life but I swear to God in my mind right now I am pummeling your smug face to a pulp for everything you did to me, my career and my family. But not to worry all right. Because I will prevail, because I’m a winner and you’re a whore with more cleavage than talent. And I will not stop untill I destroy you.

Die

30 Aug

(Amanda keeps calling)
Ari: I don’t want to speak to her.
Jake: Should I tell her that?
Ari: Tell her I want her to die!

Twins

30 Aug

Richard Branson (walks in on Ari’s family night with two hot blondes): I’m in family mode too, so…
Ari: Yes. Well played sir. I love your family.
Mrs. Ari: ARI!
Ari: Honey, he has twins. How rare is that?

Annoying

30 Aug

Ari: Jonah, next time boy’s night out. These girls are annoying.

Carrier Pigeons

30 Aug

Ari (on family night): I’m here, I’m present, I’m suffering. No phone, Blackberries or carrier pigeons.