Ari Gold Quotes

Your Top 25

• The Jew has arrived
  Ari: It's all gonna be fine. E: How? Ari: Because the Jew has arrived and he doesn't like Germans!
  (5 out of 5)
  
  Paintball
  Werner: This conversation is over. Ari: Nothing is over. When I'm done with you it will make the battle of Normandy look like game of fucking paintball.
  (5 out of 5)
  
  Wienerschnitzel Commercial
  Werner: Are you threatening me? Ari: If you consider me telling you that you will be lucky to get a Der Wienerschnitzel commercial in this country if you don't go back to work, then yeah, it's a fuck...
  (5 out of 5)
  
  Get Drama a Job
  Ari: People, staff meeting has been cancelled. You all have one goal today: to get Vincent Chase's brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job! I don't care if it's a porn shoot in which he is being gang r...
  (4.92 out of 5)
  
  Josh Winefuck
  Ari: You know what other class I took at Harvard? Business ethics. I don't steal other people's motherfucking clients. But in YOUR case, I am going to make an exception! I'm going to take everyone! Yo...
  (4.92 out of 5)
  
  Therapist #7
  Ari: I didn't go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats... And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate, how to answer...
  (4.89 out of 5)
  
  LHIOB
  Ari: You wanna hug it out? Let's hug it out bitch.
  (4.89 out of 5)
  
  Blowjob
  Ari: So you know.. After the year that I've had, and on the most important day of my life, you think that she would ask me what I wanted!? You know, a nice blowjob perhaps. Where I could just site bac...
  (4.89 out of 5)
  
  Best Dress
  Ari (wants Lloyd to go to a meeting to sign a gay tv-writer): Just go grab your best dress and know that today, your love of cock is a huge asset to the company.
  (4.89 out of 5)
  
  Wednesday
  Mrs. Ari (doesn't want Ari to pick up his phone during couples therapy): I ask for one hour of a day for his undevided attention, and I can't even have that. Ari: You could have it if you want to liv...
  (4.88 out of 5)
  
  imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com
  Ari: I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun, tell her that I'm gonna start a website. I will take a full page ad out in the L.A. Times adver...
  (4.88 out of 5)
  
  Needles in my Cock
  Ari: Tell Drama he's on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my cock!
  (4.88 out of 5)
  
  Wart on my cock
  Ari: Why the fuck did you just tell him that I had a more important lunch? You think that's gonna put a smile on his face? Lloyd: What did you want me to say? Ari: That I have a huge wart on my coc...
  (4.88 out of 5)
  
  Double Penetration
  Ari: Dana Gordon owes me. E: So what, you really think she'll let you replace the director? Ari: After what I did for her, she would let us double penetrate her if I asked her!
  (4.88 out of 5)
  
  Outfit
  Ari: What the fuck are you wearing? Lloyd: I'm trying out new looks. This one is my Andre 3000. You like? Ari: No I don't, you look like Michelle Kwan in drag. Why don't you do a triple fucking axel...
  (4.87 out of 5)
  
  Fucking Replica
  (Ari interrogates the twins on what happened) Jim: He fucked my wife, Ari. Ari: He did not. You did? You fucked his wife? As you? Jeff: What? Ari: Did you pretend to be him or did she actually fu...
  (4.86 out of 5)
  
  Ari’s Agency
  Ari: When I go, in no time, you will be repping nobodies, like Bill from the Apprentice. No one needs to make a decision right now. I will be starting my own agency. Two very important goals will appl...
  (4.86 out of 5)
  
  Clear My Throat
  E: I got us a lunch. 2:50 today. A: 2:50? 2:50.. come on, everyone know 2:50 is a jerk off meeting. What's he gonna do? Clear his throat 'till the 3 o'clock comes?
  (4.86 out of 5)
  
  Drive
  Ari: Is that the way they drive in Tiananmen Square, bitch?
  (4.85 out of 5)
  
  Cock and Asshole
  Lloyd: Are you hiding something from me Ari? Ari: Only my cock and my asshole Lloyd..
  (4.85 out of 5)
  
  Fucked
  Lloyd: What's wrong? Ari: Has so much cum squirt in those eyes you can't see what's right in front of your face? Amanda Daniels takes that job, Vince is fucked and I'm fucked. Which means we're all f...
  (4.83 out of 5)
  
  Bad piece of pussy
  Ari: You two having a little rift huh? Playing the Medellin blame game, let it go like a bad piece of pussy. Just forget that you smelled it and move on. If he passes on this thing now he might as wel...
  (4.83 out of 5)
  
  Work for Lloyd
  Ari: Anyone make any progress getting Johnny Chase a job? Lloyd: I got some calls in! Ari: Any agents in the building HAVE ANY CALLS IN? SOMEBODY DO BETTER FUCKING SOMETHING OR TOMORROW YOU WILL BE...
  (4.83 out of 5)
  
  Armstrong with Two Balls
  Ari: You will come back stronger then ever. Like Lance Armstrong. But with two balls.
  (4.81 out of 5)
  
  Kidney
  Ari [answering the phone]: If you need a kidney Adam, I'm not willing to donate, but I am willing to watch you slowly die if you're looking for that kinda thing.
  (4.81 out of 5)