Your Top 25 Ari Gold Quotes
So Ari produced some 500 quotes, but what is your favorite quote? You can vote at the bottom of each quote throughout the whole website – and let your favorite quote end up in the all time top 25 below.
Your Top 25
- Cock and Asshole
Lloyd: Are you hiding something from me Ari? Ari: Only my cock and my asshole Lloyd..
(4.86 out of 5)
I’m Never Bored
(Vince's new movie is pushed 12 weeks) E: What are we supposed to do for 12 weeks? Ari: Enjoy life, what else. And snap some below the belt photos of that partner of yours and send them over here. I... (4.86 out of 5)
Die!
Ari: Die, die, die Lloyd! And when you're gagging on Davies' balls I want you to bite down, so he can die too! (4.85 out of 5)
I Hate ‘m All
Therapist: Is it possible that these people are the reason you wanna buy this agency? (...) Ari: OK, Yes! If I could gouge out Terrence McQuewick's eyeballs, and eat them for what he did to me, I wou... (4.84 out of 5)
Flexible
Lizzy: You got the [NFL] meeting? Shit that's impressive. Ari: Yeah, I'd blow myself if I was more flexible. (4.84 out of 5)
Therapist #7
Ari: I didn't go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats... And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate, how to answer... (4.83 out of 5)
Fucked
Lloyd: What's wrong? Ari: Has so much cum squirt in those eyes you can't see what's right in front of your face? Amanda Daniels takes that job, Vince is fucked and I'm fucked. Which means we're all f... (4.83 out of 5)
Lloyd, Return to the King
Ari (shouting trough the corridors of Terrence's offices): Now Lloyd, maybe you're not here, maybe you are. Either way, you have nothing to fear because I'm not gonna kill you. I love you. You see eve... (4.83 out of 5)
Biggest agent in the world
Ari: This is now the biggest agency in the world. And I'm the head of it. Which makes me the biggest agent in the world. Now, can anyone tell me why I chose to be the biggest agent in the world? It's ... (4.83 out of 5)
Wednesday
Mrs. Ari (doesn't want Ari to pick up his phone during couples therapy): I ask for one hour of a day for his undevided attention, and I can't even have that. Ari: You could have it if you want to liv... (4.82 out of 5)
Fucking Replica
(Ari interrogates the twins on what happened) Jim: He fucked my wife, Ari. Ari: He did not. You did? You fucked his wife? As you? Jeff: What? Ari: Did you pretend to be him or did she actually fu... (4.82 out of 5)
Tittie Fuck Carmen Electra
Ari: Fuck the phones Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency tittie fuck, DON'T ANSWER! (4.82 out of 5)
Get Drama a Job
Ari: People, staff meeting has been cancelled. You all have one goal today: to get Vincent Chase's brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job! I don't care if it's a porn shoot in which he is being gang r... (4.81 out of 5)
Isreali Blood
Briar Secretary: Well he [Ari's son] did hit a kid with a ruler. Ari: The kid was trying to steel his Power Ranger, he told us all about it. And I teach my son never to let people just take things fr... (4.81 out of 5)
Evil Pussy
Ari: You know [Lizzie] fucked Andrew? That's what caused this whole spiral. It wasn't the drugs, it was her evil pussy that lured him in. (4.80 out of 5)
Finger
Ari: Listen sweetheart. You wanna call and butter me up with sympathy and then drop this on me because you think that I'm down and will take anything - let me explain this to you in a metaphor you wil... (4.79 out of 5)
Jail Suits You
Lloyd: Ari, you're wearing the same suit as yesterday? Ari: That's because I spent the night in jail Lloyd: OMG, Ari, why didn't you call me? Ari: Because you get one call and I wanted to use it on... (4.79 out of 5)
How Often You Guys Fuck
Therapist: Don't you feel that a lacking sexual relationship is a big problem in a marriage? Ari: Oh, I do doc. But we fuck more than any other married couple you know. And I know this because whenev... (4.79 out of 5)
Intern
Ari: Speak or I will intern you like it's 1942. Lloyd: I'm not Japanese, Ari. Ari: SPEAK! (4.79 out of 5)
NBC never cancels
(Drama is afraid his show doesn't get picked up) Ari: Drama, it's NBC, they gave Joey 46 episodes... they don't cancel shit. Trust me! (4.79 out of 5)
Liver
(Ari is about to leave his kid's birthday party for business) Mrs. Ari: Where are you going? Ari: They flew in the liver, and I gotta do the transplant. Where do you think I'm going? (4.78 out of 5)
Sick
(Sarah discovers Ari talking business behind the temple) Sarah: Mom told me to go find you. Ari: You did! I'm in the bathroom, I'm not feeling well. I'm on my hands and knees, I'm getting very sick ... (4.78 out of 5)
L.A. Cougars
Ari: Barbara Miller has committed ten million dollars and agreed to work for free as the mascot. How about that? The L.A. Cougars. (4.78 out of 5)
Dirty Talk
E (answering an early phone call): Why, Ari?? Why? Ari: I'm in bed E, talk dirty to me. E: It's 5 o'clock in the morning. Ari: What are you wearing? E: Fuck you! Ari: I love when you say fuck, s... (4.77 out of 5)
Needles in my Cock
Ari: Tell Drama he's on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my cock! (4.77 out of 5)
